Monday Zen: Calm Has Many Forms

“Anger is a hot coal you’re holding, waiting to throw it at someone else.” — Anonymous

Even if you have a good reason, being angry is almost never a good choice. And it is a choice. Emotions are states we can choose. And while the right one always depends on the situation, being calm is one of the most powerful of them all.

If I can find my way back to calm, I can deal with any situation. No matter what goes wrong, whether I lose money, get criticized, feel lonely, or am overwhelmed with work, once I take a deep breath, I can deal with the issue.

Interestingly, the path to calm seems to always lead through a different mental track in my brain. When I have work problems, I remember that I have money savings and time to address them. When I have relationship problems, I remember that I’m someone worth loving. And so on.

Therefore, there are many different sources of calm, and the more you have, the better:

• Compassion. Everyone is just trying their best to live their life. If you can remember this, you’ll have empathy and struggle less with other people treating you wrongly, making mistakes, etc.

• Self-Love. One of the people just trying their best is, of course, you. So the most productive thing you can do in any situation is to forgive yourself for your flaws, mistakes, and regrets as quickly as you can. Forgiveness eliminates friction. It means letting go, and only once we let go can we move on.

• Self-Esteem. Whereas self-love eliminates the negative, self-esteem emphasizes the positive. Take pride in your past accomplishments. How disciplined you’ve been. How many challenges you’ve overcome. And remember that, no matter how many cracks you might perceive in your mirror image, you’re still a whole human being. Always.

• Money. There’s no getting around the fact that having money is a practical ace up your sleeve. It doesn’t have to be a crazy amount, but enough to give you some time to deal with any potential emergencies. That, too, brings real calm to your life.

• Gratitude. Thinking about what you have is a great way to put what you don’t have into perspective. We’re all trying to do something meaningful, but we’re also all standing on the shoulders of past generations. Chances are, our lives are a lot easier than theirs.

Cultivating sources of calm takes time, but it’s a goal worth pursuing — because who wants to spend their life holding hot coals? Especially on Mondays.

-Nik

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About Monday Zen: Most people hate Monday. Why? In a good life, it’s a day like any other. At the very least, it shouldn’t be worse by default. That’s what Monday Zen is for: To make sure you start the week with calm, poise, and determination.

Let’s not derail our trains of thought before they leave the station. Let’s enjoy the journey.